What’s in the Way is the Way

“This thing in front of you. This issue. This obstacle – this frustrating, unfortunate, problematic, unexpected problem preventing you from doing what you want to do. That thing you dread or secretly hope will never happen. What if it wasn’t so bad?

     What if embedded inside it or inherent in it were certain benefits – benefits only for you? What would you do? What do you think most people would do?

     Probably what they’ve always done, and what you are doing right now: nothing.

     Let’s be honest: Most of us are paralyzed. Whatever our individual goals, most of us sit frozen before the many obstacles that lie ahead of us.”

     I don’t think I’m in the minority when I say that when I’m confronted with obstacles I’m inclined to feel that what’s in the way is in the way! I know what I want and how I want my life to proceed, and I’m usually sure what it will take for me to achieve my goals. I’m also pretty sure I know when my plans hit the wall of unexpected/unwanted impediments, and although I’d like to respond gracefully to what feels in the way, I usually react in ways that are, shall I say, a bit less than elegant.

     Every spiritual tradition I’m familiar with teaches that suffering results when we resist reality. It is not only or even primarily unwanted circumstances that cause us distress as much as it is our unwillingness to accept them. Acceptance is the antithesis of doing nothing. It does not mean that we passively prefer pain to comfort, but that we recognize that there may be “certain benefits” inherent in what is difficult, benefits that lead to our becoming better, stronger, more wise and compassionate people.

     It may be counterintuitive to embrace what is painful physically, mentally, and emotionally, but from a spiritual perspective it is important that we do so, for spirituality values our becoming our best selves – an outcome that is most often the result of facing/embracing all the cards life deals us.