Impermanence/Detachment

     “That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything – every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate – is always changing, moment to moment. We don’t have to be mystics or physicists to know this. Yet at the level of personal experience, we resist this basic fact. It means that life isn’t always going to go our way. It means there’s loss as well as gain. And we don’t like that.”

     “The only constant is change” is a truism about which Buddhist nun Pema Chodron writes.  “This too shall pass” is another saying her words call to mind; it too reminds us that the only thing we can count on is that nothing stays the same for long. These can be comforting words when life is difficult, but when we’re satisfied with how things are going, when we are prospering, healthy, and content, the specter of impermanence is less than welcome.  

     How is it possible to make peace with impermanence? How can we go gracefully down the path of change? The word ‘detachment’ comes to mind. Detachment does not equate with not caring, it is not a laissez faire mind-set that has no preference as to how life unfolds. Rather, detachment is a virtue, a strength, an attitude of mind and heart that enables us to embrace change without resistance – or at least without as much resistance as would be the case without it. Detachment is the willingness to go with the sometimes turbulent flow of life based on the belief that doing so leads to a more joyful, peaceful, and meaningful existence.

     It is no small feat to take our hands off the wheel, to let go of the illusion of control when situations or people matter to us. But after exhausting our fruitless efforts to keep change in check, disengaging from the expectation that life will remain as we would like is our only healthy option.