Author: tomstellawebsite

“I have worked with people who had a major goal in life that required decades of intense and sustained effort to achieve. And when they finally succeeded, they became severely depressed, because they expected something that the achievement of that goal could not give them. Joseph Campbell called this situation” getting to the top of … Continue reading The Wrong Wall

     “We are living in a culture that celebrates the high stakes qualities of perfectionism. Researchers have been following the rise of unrealistic and self-critical standards as a kind of societal phenomenon. Job applicants trying to impress the new boss cite “trying too hard” as the only acceptable humblebrag. Mental health experts describe anxiety and … Continue reading MEET THE HEAT

“All things must end. All lives must end. This is not news, except to the one dying or the one losing a loved one, a loved home, a loved life. If it has lasted long our hearts may be broken – but that is what we are here for, to have dreams and, if we … Continue reading It’s Why We Are Here

“It is late November – the end of a long journey. I am staying in a monastery for the night before returning to my home a hundred miles away.      I lived for a time in places like this when I was younger. I know the power of the long, accretion of silence, and the … Continue reading Here is Holy

“The importance of staying busy is a Protestant obsession that America inherited from Northern Europe and has since tuned to a fine art. The more hours you spend in the office, the more multitasking you do, the fewer vacations you take, the more professional you are, the more your social credibility increases in stock. You … Continue reading The Virtue of Being Busy

“Instead of clinging to what you know…fall headlong into whatever it is that faces you. You may discover you can fly. If you are in the middle of a divorce, let it be that. If you have lost your job, let it be that, and if you are dying, may it be so. Of course, … Continue reading Embracing What Is

    “Carl Jung raised the great question of our time: How do we find a way “to get everything back into connection with everything else?” In struggling to find an answer, he warned, “We must resist the vice of intellectualization, and get it understood that we cannot only understand,” We have to get out of … Continue reading Into the Wilds

     “That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything – every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate – is always changing, moment … Continue reading Impermanence/Detachment

“We are matter, kindred with ocean and tree and sky. We are flesh and blood and bone. To sink into that is relief, a homecoming…”      “The ancestors of the Protestant world of my childhood had turned worship into a chin-up experience, spine straight on an uncomfortable pew, eyes ahead. And the holy figures who … Continue reading We Are Matter

“A little consideration of what takes place around us every day would show us that a higher law than that of our own will regulates events; that our painful labors are unnecessary, and fruitless; that only in our easy, simple, spontaneous action are we strong, and by contenting ourselves with obedience we become divine. Belief … Continue reading Be More Zen