“We are living in a culture that celebrates the high stakes qualities of perfectionism. Researchers have been following the rise of unrealistic and self-critical standards as a kind of societal phenomenon. Job applicants trying to impress the new boss cite “trying too hard” as the only acceptable humblebrag. Mental health experts describe anxiety and low self-esteem as the result of ever-increasing standards of physical, social, and emotional perfectionism. We are living in an unending pageant and the judges never tire.”
This excerpt from the book Good Enough proclaims that perfectionism is a pervasive presence, a truth that should come as no surprise to anyone who breathes the air of our culture. And it is not just in wanting to “impress the new boss” that striving for perfection rears its head, for as the authors state, standards of physical, social, emotional (and I would add spiritual) perfectionism are alive and well, as are the negative effects they mention – anxiety and low self-esteem – that often accompany it.
The inclination to strive for perfection is in stark contrast to the Buddhist dictum “There’s nowhere to go, nothing to attain, no one to become.” I find it almost unimaginable to consider this way of gliding through life; it seems so effortless, so natural, so healthy to accept ourselves as we are and our lives as they are rather than trying to wrestle them into submission, to make them say “uncle,” to squeeze them into conventional conformity. Embracing this laid back approach to life does not preclude the notion that some effort may be necessary in order to fulfill our potential, but it does imply a kind of gentle, non-judgmental compassion as we journey toward that end.
The word perfection is derived from the Latin perfectus, meaning finished or brought to an end. Like a turkey in the oven, we are being brought to completion, cooked by life’s joys and sorrows, its consolations and challenges. We don’t have to try to be perfect, for we will be perfected if we are willing to meet the heat, that is, to face into the pageant that is our lives.
Attuned to Soul 