It’s Why We Are Here

“All things must end. All lives must end. This is not news, except to the one dying or the one losing a loved one, a loved home, a loved life. If it has lasted long our hearts may be broken – but that is what we are here for, to have dreams and, if we are lucky, to have those dreams come true, and then, inevitably, to have them taken from us. That is why we are here…we have been on loan and that love and beauty have also been on loan and that soon the loan will be up and the breath will go out of the dream. And yet, it holds us by the sleeve and tells us: for a little time more, we still have the light, we still have the dream.”

     One would think the words quoted above were occasioned by someone who experienced the death of a loved one or an equally painful event. In fact, essayist Mel Livatino did live through his wife’s extended illness and death, but what gave rise to this reflection was the beauty of autumn’s waning that he penned in a piece titled “That September Light.”

    Nature’s ways are a reminder that we, too, are nature. As persons we experience seasons, changes, times when we may feel the bright spring-like energy of new birth, and times of darkness, dormancy, and death. And according to Livatino, going through this vacillation – all of it, not just the beauty and dreams fulfilled – is why we are here.

     What does it mean to say “this is why we are here,” or that we are “on loan?” What is the purpose of dreaming if our dreams will inevitably come to a heartbreaking end? I know of no easy answers to these queries, no fix, no words of wisdom that will part the clouds. But something in me is drawn to the notion that “for a little time more, we still have the light, we still have the dream,” even if the light is dim and our dreams feel out of reach.

     We can fixate on the fact that the love and beauty, the light and dreams that bring us joy will too soon be gone, or we can wrap our arms around the fact that they may not have gone anywhere yet. But even if they have, even if the loan has come due and our hearts have been broken, there is still a tug at our sleeves inviting us to embracethe light, open ourselves to love, and dream new dreams.