“Every Monday a train pulled into the station and loaded up the next list of people who had been chosen for Auschwitz. It was an anteroom of hell, and they all knew it. And yet Etty wrote that her months “behind razor wire,” as she put it, when she spent her days attending to the suffering of others and to the unkillable beauty of the natural world, had turned out to be the happiest time of her life…”
I have written elsewhere about Etty Hillesum, a Dutch Jew who died at Auschwitz, and whose diary reveals her remarkably down-to-earth spirituality. As the above quote indicates, she was an exceptional person whose unquenchable spirit thrived for a time at least in conditions that most of her fellow captives failed to survive. What enabled Etty to enjoy the “happiest time of her life” in the midst of such unthinkably horrific circumstances? What can make it possible for any of us to be in touch with the unkillable beauty of life when we are immersed in situations that can break not only our bodies, but our hearts as well?
If we seek an answer to these questions in a one-size-fits-all solution, there may not be a satisfying resolution to life’s most challenging circumstances. But if, as was the case with Etty, the answer is a response, that’s a different animal. A response can be verbal, but Etty responded to her plight by “attending to the suffering of others.” She felt deeply and personally the horrors that surrounded her, but refused to remain focused only on how she was impacted by them.
A life characterized by sustained acts of kindness is a sign that one has become free from self-absorption. The lesson Etty has to teach us is that when we care for others our own burdens are lightened. Pain, be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, can be all consuming; it can make our world small, our horizons restricted, and our capacity for caring blunted. But when by refusing to dwell only on our discomfort we free ourselves from the captivity of self-focus, we become more inclined to attend to others, see beauty, experience joy, and find peace in the midst of anguish.
Attuned to Soul 