“…the ending of a relationship, losing one’s job or home, becoming ill, growing old, or realizing that one’s own death draws near. Such moments are risky. They can break our spirit, causing us to give up, to assume the stance of the helpless victim or the addict who attempts to overcome the pain of the moment by numbing his or her experience of what is really happening. While not without risk, such instances of being stilled can occasion a falling into the depths in which wisdom is granted to those transformed in the paradoxical power of powerlessness deeply accepted.”
Paradox (loosely translated as crooked teaching) is at the heart of most religious/spiritual/wisdom traditions. The truth of their parables and proverbs are often head-scratchers that appear contradictory and feel befuddling; the power of powerlessness is one such dictum. How can impotence be powerful? How can weakness be strength?
In his book The Contemplative Heart, psychologist and former monk Jim Finley identifies some life experiences that have the ability to bring us to our knees, to still us, to stop us in our tracks, to bring us face-to-face with our helplessness to control the painful realities that happen to us and to those who matter to us. But along with referring to life’s heartbreaks, Finley also offers a way to navigate these harsh realities, namely, to deeply accept our impotence to change them.
Of course we ought to do what we can to address what is hurtful and harmful, but when our efforts prove futile, when nothing can remedy what afflicts us, powerlessness deeply accepted can shift our focus from what cannot be altered and thus keep us from succumbing to the temptation to give up, to assume a victim mentality, or to merely numb the pain. Following this crooked way means fully embracing reality as it is, and although doing so may not result in our skipping blissfully through life, it can enable us to sense a sustaining inner presence that is a life-giving source of strength.
It is in the depths of powerlessness deeply accepted that we can discover a paradoxical power we did not know existed. It is in the darkness that we can perceive a light heretofore undetected. It is in facing/embracing pain that we can stumble upon the strength to endure what feels insurmountable.
Attuned to Soul 